Waiting, Walking Blind and Embracing It!

I lay here in this moment, in a pew of a small church in a huge city, a city in desperate need of a rescue. My body tired beyond belief, yet something is stirring in me and I can’t rest J I can’t sleep. I don’t have words in this moment to describe it but to say that I know it is something deep within my stomach that is search and is stirred. I feel like restoration is coming to my soul. I know that might sound crazy but its as though I am on the edge of something. It feel like it’s only an arms length away. My mind is racing, what is it God? What are you desiring to speak? What do you require of me? I am here. I am listening, and I am waiting. Waiting in obedience has taken on such a vivid role in my life lately as I sometimes wonder what direction this season of my life is leading me. In prayer one day on the missions trip to Curaco last May I kept hearing God ask me “Tracey, are you willing to wait?” I mean, how would you respond if God ask you something. Of course, yes Lord, whatever you desire. I know that He knows what is best and what lies ahead. But what I didn’t know is what a season a waiting truly feels like. In complete transparency, it is hard for me. It’s a true test of trust, trusting in God, the creator of my destiny to get me to that point. Sometimes I feel like I’m walking blind. My frustrations and impatient tendencies try to rise up often, and then I hear these questions echo in my mind….Will you still love me the same in the waiting? Will you still worship me the same in the waiting? Will you still obey me in the waiting? Will you still maintain the same faithfulness in the waiting? Will you continue to walk in hunger and desperation for more in the waiting? For so long, I have been agitated by this “waiting” but no longer, I’m gonna embrace it with all that I am, so when the day comes that I walk out of this time I didn’t miss one single opportunity, person, experience that God had pre-ordained for me to walk through. As I think of it some of the best things are a result of waiting; I remember waiting forever to be 16 so I could finally get my license, waiting in long lines just to ride that one amazing roller coaster! (It was completely worth it!) Each year having to wait another 365 days for your birthday to come around again, wait for the light to turn green (hate that one) In school waiting for the bell to ring so class was over, waiting nine months to finally give birth to a baby (this one I do not know from personal experience, lol) Even at the most amazing coffee shop on the planet, you still have to wait for them to make that specific blend you request (uuummmm, now I’m wanting Starbucks!) I know that these next ten days are going to be full of ministry but even in the midst of it I feel like I’m going on a spiritual journey with God, one that will be a part in shaping me, a change of mindset, a change of heart/maybe redirection, a life shifting. Let the shifting begin………..