3 Different reflections on examples of true worshipers.

As a servant girl in the palace of the king I saw many things growing up, and came in contact with many different people. But one that I will never be able to forget is a woman who worshipped God beyond her circumstances. Ester trusted God in the midst of an unseen future. Never did she allow doubt and fear to overcome her but in everything she did, she relied on God. I remember when she would walk into the room that the atmosphere brightened. She carried a spirit of hope and it became contagious. When I looked at her life, I saw the example of a true worshipper.

I saw the example of a true worshipper, that day beneath the cross in the midst of sorrow and despair I saw not only a mother grieving over the loss of her son but a woman of God worshipping through the pain. As I clung to Mary and I felt each breathe that she took I could feel the agony inside of her as she let go of a piece of her heart. I knew that day that true worship cost something.

I knew that day that true worship cost something, when I witnessed an act of humble admiration. I couldn’t believe my eyes when Mary poured the oil upon Jesus’ feet. In doing this she unveiled her whole heart for the room to see. In her mind there was only one man in that room and she was determined to express the extent of her worship. As she washed his feet with her hair, the tears became to flow down her face. These were not tears of sorrow but tears of worship. It was then I realized that worship was more than a song, it’s about giving your life.

Waiting, Walking Blind and Embracing It!

I lay here in this moment, in a pew of a small church in a huge city, a city in desperate need of a rescue. My body tired beyond belief, yet something is stirring in me and I can’t rest J I can’t sleep. I don’t have words in this moment to describe it but to say that I know it is something deep within my stomach that is search and is stirred. I feel like restoration is coming to my soul. I know that might sound crazy but its as though I am on the edge of something. It feel like it’s only an arms length away. My mind is racing, what is it God? What are you desiring to speak? What do you require of me? I am here. I am listening, and I am waiting. Waiting in obedience has taken on such a vivid role in my life lately as I sometimes wonder what direction this season of my life is leading me. In prayer one day on the missions trip to Curaco last May I kept hearing God ask me “Tracey, are you willing to wait?” I mean, how would you respond if God ask you something. Of course, yes Lord, whatever you desire. I know that He knows what is best and what lies ahead. But what I didn’t know is what a season a waiting truly feels like. In complete transparency, it is hard for me. It’s a true test of trust, trusting in God, the creator of my destiny to get me to that point. Sometimes I feel like I’m walking blind. My frustrations and impatient tendencies try to rise up often, and then I hear these questions echo in my mind….Will you still love me the same in the waiting? Will you still worship me the same in the waiting? Will you still obey me in the waiting? Will you still maintain the same faithfulness in the waiting? Will you continue to walk in hunger and desperation for more in the waiting? For so long, I have been agitated by this “waiting” but no longer, I’m gonna embrace it with all that I am, so when the day comes that I walk out of this time I didn’t miss one single opportunity, person, experience that God had pre-ordained for me to walk through. As I think of it some of the best things are a result of waiting; I remember waiting forever to be 16 so I could finally get my license, waiting in long lines just to ride that one amazing roller coaster! (It was completely worth it!) Each year having to wait another 365 days for your birthday to come around again, wait for the light to turn green (hate that one) In school waiting for the bell to ring so class was over, waiting nine months to finally give birth to a baby (this one I do not know from personal experience, lol) Even at the most amazing coffee shop on the planet, you still have to wait for them to make that specific blend you request (uuummmm, now I’m wanting Starbucks!) I know that these next ten days are going to be full of ministry but even in the midst of it I feel like I’m going on a spiritual journey with God, one that will be a part in shaping me, a change of mindset, a change of heart/maybe redirection, a life shifting. Let the shifting begin………..

Submission is not a bad word.

I must admit before getting married anytime I'd hear someone jokingly or seriously quote that Bible verse about wives submitting to your husbands there was just something about it that got under my skin in the wrong way, if you know what I mean? I believe that's because I viewed submission as a loss of strength or idenity. It is absolutely not the case at all, especially in the kingdom of God. I'm learning that when we submit ourselves to God, we are placing our lives under His mission. Submission is not about powerlessness; it is about meekness. To be meek is to have controlled strength. I was reading this morning in Matthew 8:5-13 about the Roman soldier who came to Jesus asking for his servant to be healed. Two things that jump out at me as I read this passage, number one is the faith this man pocessed; and second is the submission he exhibited. In verse 8 and 9 it says, "But the officer said, "Lord, I am not worthy to have you come into my home. Just say the word from where you are, and my servant will be healed. I know this because I am under the authority of my superiors officers, and I have authority over my soldiers. I only need to say "Go" and they go, or "Come" and they come. And if I say to my slave "Do this," they do it." It says Jesus was amazed when He heard these words. Personally, I'm amazed by this mans humility and submission. He recognized the authority Jesus had because of His father. Like this Roman solider we must strive to be people of authority and under authority. True submission yeilds beautiful fruits! Submission is not a bad word.

Standing

Hey just a little something I wanted to share with you. Something God's been teaching me, maybe it'll bring encouragement. In the past week I keep hearing God say "stand, just stand". Sometimes when we are in the middle of spiritual battle, we feel like we have done everything we can, everything we know to fight. I have felt for months now that I am just tired....simply tired. Not necessary physically although that does happen from time to time but tired of the warfare that the enemy brings. Sometimes it feels like we reach a place where we can't go on, we can't wait any longer. I have come to that place and that is when I heard Him say, then just stand. My mind immediately remembered these verses. Eph 6:10-13 Finally, be strong in the Lord and in his mighty power. Put on the full armor of God so that you can take your stand against the devils schemes. For our struggle is not against flesh and blood, but against the rulers, against the authorities, against the powers of this dark world and against the spiritual forces of evil in the heavenly realms. Therefore, put on the full armor of God so that when the day of evil comes you may be able to STAND your ground, and after you have done everything, to STAND.

I have a friend who is a professional wrestler and he told me about how it is when he fights....when your enemy pushes you down its ok as long as you stand back up. If you stay down then your opponent has won...as long as you have the strength to stand, the fight is still on.
So, I was sharing with the students I disciple today sometimes we must get stubborn with the enemy and if we don't have to strength to fight back then at least stand....make it clear that you are not going down, and you're sure not going backwards....but your standing and with God's strength moving forward.
well, thats all....just some of my crazy thoughts. God Bless! see ya later.

Spirit of fear and intimidation

You’re lurking, waiting for an opportunity to suppress my Spirit; waiting for a moment of weakness, wearing me down over time....one battle after another....trying to fill my mind with the lies you call reality. But what you do not know is that I see you for what you are....a spirit of intimidation and fear. I refuse to subject myself to your control. You are the product of my lack of peace, courage, confidence, endurance and security. No longer will I be subjected . The light has exposed you and you will become but a vague memory. But I will remember you, I will walk free from you and bring freedom to those I meet whom you have tried to impose yourself upon. The very way you have tried to destroy me, will be the very thing I use to bring GOD the most glory. I will walk in freedom because of the ONE who lives in me. (2 Corinthians 3:17 Now the Lord in the Spirit, and where the Spirit of the Lord is, there is FREEDOM¨!) And I will be a liberator of freedom (Luke 4:18-19 The Spirit of the Lord is on me, because he ahs anointed me to preach the good news to the poor. He has sent me to proclaim FREEDOM for the captives and recover the sight of the blind, to release the oppressed, to proclaim the year of the Lord’s favor.) Someday you will learn you do not mess with a daughter of the King! (An intimidated person honors what he fears more then God but the fear of the Lord produces confidence and boldness)

Prayer

What is the goal when we pray and what really is prayer?

*We live in a world where everyone prays!!! It’s not just a “Christian” thing, Muslim, Hindus, Buddhist, the lady I work with, one of the greatest heathens I know J when she is having a bad day the first things she tells me is “I prayed today, I talked to the big guy up stairs” (Whoever came up with the concept that God lived upstairs J) They all pray! So what makes us as Christians any different?

Should our goal be to become people, men and woman of God who pray? If that’s our goal then it’s too small and to superficial! If that’s the case then we are just becoming “religious” like the rest of the world. The difference is not that you and I be committed to prayer but that you and I be committed to CONNECTING with the living GOD, the Creator through our prayers.

Lets take a look at a prayer meeting in 1^st Kings, chapter 18:16-28

16 So Obadiah went to tell Ahab that Elijah had come, and Ahab went out to meet Elijah. 17 When Ahab saw him, he exclaimed, “So, is it really you, you troublemaker of Israel?” 18 “I have made no trouble for Israel,” Elijah replied. “You and your family are the troublemakers, for you have refused to obey the commands of the Lord and have worshiped the images of Baal instead. 19 Now summon all Israel to join me at Mount Carmel, along with the 450 prophets of Baal and the 400 prophets of Asherah who are supported by Jezebel. 20 So Ahab summoned all the people of Israel and the prophets to Mount Carmel. 21 Then Elijah stood in front of them and said, “How much longer will you waver, hobbling between two opinions? If the Lord is God, follow him! But if Baal is God, then follow him!” But the people were completely silent.

22 Then Elijah said to them, “I am the only prophet of the Lord who is left, but Baal has 450 prophets. 23 Now bring two bulls. The prophets of Baal may choose whichever one they wish and cut it into pieces and lay it on the wood of their altar, but without setting fire to it. I will prepare the other bull and lay it on the wood on the altar, but not set fire to it. 24 Then call on the name of your god, and I will call on the name of the Lord. The god who answers by setting fire to the wood is the true God!” And all the people agreed. 25 Then Elijah said to the prophets of Baal, “You go first, for there are many of you. Choose one of the bulls, and prepare it and call on the name of your god. But do not set fire to the wood.” 26 So they prepared one of the bulls and placed it on the altar. Then they called on the name of Baal from morning until noontime, shouting, “O Baal, answer us!” But there was no reply of any kind. Then they danced, hobbling around the altar they had made. 27 About noontime Elijah began mocking them. “You’ll have to shout louder,” he scoffed, “for surely he is a god! Perhaps he is daydreaming, or is relieving himself. Or maybe he is away on a trip, or is asleep and needs to be wakened!”28 So they shouted louder, and following their normal custom, they cut themselves with knives and swords until the blood gushed out.

*We see this same thing all throughout our culture today. The difference between a follower of Jesus Christ is not that he prays, but that God speaks to you and you hear His voice, that God hears you and answers your prayers OBEY! There is a difference between one who knows God and one who is searching for God; one who CONNECTS to God and one who’s crying out to a “god”.

Elijah interrupts their prayer meeting. Look at what’s going on here. Talk about “emotionalism”. These guys were going at it, to the point of inflicting pain upon themselves. People to the point of cutting themselves trying to get their “gods” attention. I think in our own way we have all been there, I know I have in my life. Cried out at times like David saying “God have you forgotten me?!?!? Do I still matter to you? I mean, come on, I know I’m from Delaware and it’s so small and almost non-existent but please don’t forget me, please hear me!

So, here’s Elijah and he is taunting them, I love it, J my favorite kind of humor is sarcastic humor! And so he’s saying to them “Well, maybe your god is busy, maybe he’s daydreaming, maybe he’s on a trip, maybe your god is in the bathroom! J There have been times in life where I have felt that yes, God is definitely taking a bathroom break!

If your prayer life feels empty and void….lets talk about why? And the reason I wanted to speak with you about this topic isn’t because I’ve got it all together and I know what I’m doing if anything it’s because I’m desperate and longing for more. I feel empty in my prayer life at times, it’s not always my strong area. And as I’ve been walking through this lately God has been teaching me the difference between praying and CONNECTING with Him. And it’s a journey but I’m loving the growing and connecting part of it all.

1 Kings 18:30-39

Are we to the place in our lives where we hear God speak because we are so ready and listening. Are you at the place where God can speak to you because you are so ready to obey Him.

The best evidence that you are a man of prayer is that you are obedient to do what God’s says when you pray.

Examples: hearing God’s voice……not needing to really ask the question “Is this wrong?” Because if you are having to ask the question then you already know in your heart that it is wrong.

If God speaks to you and you continually ignore His voice and refuse to walk in what He says and in what you know is right, if you do that long enough you will live as if you are deaf.

The extreme privilege of prayer is that you CAN hear the voice of God. Elisha’s prayer: answer me God so that these people will know that you are God. Elisha’s wanted them to see the power in his prayer life so that the peoples heart would be turned back to God.

For Elisha, it was at the time of sacrifice that he stepped forward and prayed. God wants to kind of prayer where you can say God I will pray no prayer that I am not willing to be the solution to the problem. I will step up in the time of sacrifice. Stepping up in the time of sacrifice sets it up for God to do a miracle.

My Prayer

God,

If I live a few years on the earth and have to give up “comfort” it’s ok. And if I can’t always get to feel like I’m in charge or even that I know what I’m doing, I’m ok. And if I get persecuted for being who you called me to be, and people get right down nasty, it’s ok. And if I never get to live out the “American Dream” and have an impeccable husband, an impeccable house, and an impeccable mustang, and lots of impeccable kids, I’m ok. And if I don’t just “settle down” and “enjoy life, it’s ok. And if I spend my whole life in weird shadows in unglamorous places and never really get recognized, it’s ok. If I don’t do the traditional ministry and fit into a typical position, it’s ok. But God please be with me. Please be behind me, and in me, and through me. Let me at least know that you are guiding me and that you will see me through no matter what comes. When others fail me, and they will, I WANT YOU GOD! May I run to you and into your arms and throw myself at you day in and day out. May you really be my solace, my strength, my Lord, my first and greatest LOVE, MY JOY! God when it’s all said and done and my life has been poured out into completion – May you be glorified! May it be a sweet smelling offering to you and may you say “Well done good and faithful servant. Now come enter into my rest.” I will love you forever! I will worship you with my whole heart! I will write out through prophetic song your message to this generation. I surrender my life to you, MY GOD! My ONE and ONLY! Forever, I AM YOURS!

Knowing and Seeking after the Heart of God through Prayer!

God’s heart cry is to know you, for Him to be known by you, and for you to know His heart for His people!

*****3 Questions for you today

1) Do you know the heart of God?

Knowing the heart of God

Psalms 103:7 He made known His ways to Moses; His deeds to the children of Israel.

There is a difference that comes between knowing someone’s heart and knowing about someone. Israel knew His ways, they knew what God could do and what God had done. But Moses, he knew God’s heart.

(Jeremiah 24:7 NKJV) 'Then I will give them a heart to know Me, that I am the LORD; and they shall be My people, and I will be their God, for they shall return to Me with their whole heart.

God has placed within each of us a desperate longing for Him, Christians and non-Christians alike. There is a void inside of us that can only be filled with His spirit. I know in some way each of you can relate to this but we try to fill this void with things that make us happy. True satisfaction for your inner longing will only be filled in God’s presence. If you are filling empty or dry or aimlessly wondering…the best place for you is in the presence of God.

2) How desperate are you?

The proof of desire is in the pursuit!

You want to know something, when you are desperate; you get the desire as much as you need.

Jeremiah 29:13 You will seek me and find me when you seek me with all you heart, I will be found by you, “declares the Lord.

There is more than just words going on here….it’s a promise that when you seek God, you will find Him. When we come into prayer each morning, if our true hearts desire is to seek Him….DUDE! Then He’s going to be here….that’s what He promised!

God has already made the call to us; it’s up to us to respond.

This morning in staff prayer Chris made an incredible statement…He said “I don’t want God to have to wait for me (cause God does that for us guys…He waits for us) but I want to start waiting for God.”

For us to come in here each day “Ok, God….I’m here to meet with you, that’s my one focus…I’m not focused on what I have to do today, whether I’m hungry or not….I’m not focused on that girl in the corner…or lady’s that guy over there worshiping God…whhoooaaaaa! They’re pretty, or handsome. lol! NO! I am here to meet with YOU…..HE PROMISES TO SHOW UP!

Are you desperate for God today?!?….how desperate are you?!? Because that’s how much your going to get. Your depth of desire will be equal to your depth of gain!

3) Are you available?

Intercession- something that stands between two things.

(2 Chronicles 7:14-15 NKJV) "If My people who are called by my name will humble themselves, and pray and seek my face, and turn from their wicked ways, then I will hear from heaven, and will forgive their sin and heal their land. {15} "Now My eyes will be open and my ears attentive to prayer made in this place

In Ezekiel 22 it speaks about Israel and the sin that they are living in, several times God calls upon prophets to warn them that their disobedience would lead to the wrath of God. At one point God begins to speak these words.

“I looked for a man among them who would build up the wall and stand before me in the gap on behalf of the land so I would not have to destroy it, but I found none.”

The second I read that my heart broke….here God is calling out “I’m looking for just one man…..someone who will stand in the gap, someone who will build up a wall of protection!” And He found none. How many times has God called upon you to intercede for a brother or sister in Christ or for someone who is not saved? I don’t think we realize how much power there is in intercessory prayer.

In the Bible we see examples of men who interceded for nations, for individuals, or pleaded God on behalf of another. I think of Elisha, this man prayed for 3 ½ years for rain. Can you image. God called upon him to intercede for 3 ½ years! I don’t know about you but sometimes I intercede for people and if I don’t see results in a week or less I already begin to doubt….I mean…like I’m ready to give up and forget about it….what’s up with that. Elisha waited 3 ½ years, pleading, begging for the rain…and then one day….it came!

I know personally that the power of intercession works. God’s grace and mercy has covered me so much because of the intercession of my parents. Times when I was a teenager, doing things I knew was wrong and God would lay it upon my parent’s heart to intercede for me. I can look over my life and name specific times when I would come home and I could hear my parents in there room praying for me. There prayers held back the enemy from advancing in my life.

What about you? Are you available this morning? When God speaks, lays someone on your heart? Are you willing to fast? Or give up time doing something else….to pray for that person? Just think if it were you walking through something difficult, you would want God to lay it on others heart to prayer for you and you would want with all your heart for them to obey the call of God to intercede.

OK, so you were presented with three questions this morning.

1) Do you know His heart?

2) How desperate are you?

3) Are you available?

Leadership Assignment

Generosity

Webster’s dictionary describes generosity as the readiness or liberality of giving, the freedom from smallness of mind or character, a generous act, amplitude, largeness or fullness.

Generosity is shown in a leader’s everyday life in the way that she/he gives; not only giving of possessions or things, but giving of themselves. Giving of yourself requires your time, your attention, your compassion, your patience, your understanding.

A leader who is not willing to give of themselves or their time and attention is a selfish person. People who are self absorbed only last as a leader for a short time. Eventually people see that their top priority is themselves and most people do not desire to be around a person who is like this.

Building influence with other is available to everyone, but requires tremendous extension of oneself.

The greatest example of generosity that the world has ever seen was Jesus Christ. He gave everywhere that he went and then one day he gave the ultimate sacrifice, His life. All we can offer him in return is our lives, completely and totally surrendered.

Kindness

Power, the ability to force someone to do your will, even if they would choose not to, because of your position or your might. It can be bought and sold, given and taken away. People can be put into positions of power.

Authority, the skill of getting people to willingly do your will because of your personal influence. It cannot be bought or sold, given or taken away. It is about who you are as a person, your character.

Enthusiasm

“Enthusiasm is like gravity, you know it’s there, you know it exist, but how do you define it?” Jamie Williams

Many things in life are contagious, a cold, a fever, a smile, and enthusiasm is one of these things. Alone in it’s self enthusiasm is an attractive attribute to possess. People cling to those they enjoy being with and enthusiastic people have this vibe about them. Everyone wants to be apart of a team that is enthusiastic and excited but one thing we must know as a leader you must possess the qualities that you desire your followers to have. Successful leaders are highly driven and motivated. Good leadership consists of motivating people to the highest level by offering them opportunities – not obligations.

Responsibility

Leaders must take the responsibility to correct an improper course of action taken by someone under their leadership. Truth is, some leaders are too afraid to discipline someone because they fear losing the favor of the people, but when some incorrect action calls for discipline and corrective measures, taking responsibility to work it out as soon as possible. Jim Rohn said, “We must all suffer from one of two pains: The pain of discipline, or the pain of regret. The difference is discipline weighs ounces, while regret weighs tons”.

There is a saying that goes like this, “Actions speak louder than words”. In other words, when you have the opportunity to do something significant, a leader must act with certainty. If a leader sees a real need, he/she should roll up their sleeves immediately and do whatever he/she can. That way your followers will also be motivated to join in as well.

A great leader always listens to the thoughts/criticisms of his/her people. Have a teachable spirit. Be willing to be influenced by your people.

A leader must always take the responsibility to keep everything in his/her organization truthful. Over the past few years, too many ministries have crumbled because they never were very honest. In other words, a leader should always tell the truth, because if a leader cannot be honest and truthful and even trustworthy, then the motivation of his/her people will plummet like a rock to the bottom of the ocean. There is a fact many leaders miss here: No one wants to be led by a liar! No-one likes to be deceived. The lies of the leader always reflect on the integrity of every person in the team. The way out, is to take responsibility to face up to the problem immediately, ask forgiveness of the people, and set things right. That means you take responsibility for your actions. Carol Hymowitz stated, “It has to be encouraged by leaders who themselves are honest and willing to admit their failures”.

Treat people fairly. Give to them what is owed and promised to them. That means, never over-promise. Never promise someone what you cannot deliver. I like the phase that says: “If you want to lead the band, you have to face the music.” TAKE RESPONSIBILITY !!

Keys to Intimacy

Ok, so here are some things I have been thinking on while I’ve been home “resting”. lol J Even though I can’t stand holding still, I have loved the time that I have had with Jesus. An intimacy with my Savior that has long been missed has once again come alive within me. These are just a few thoughts and things I’ve been pondering today….feel free to add to it and let me know your input or thoughts you have. I’m always open and wanting to grow and learn more. J

Have you noticed how praise moves people? Ever seen someone working on a project and you come along and begin to encourage them, to let them know all the things they’re doing right and then suddenly something clicks. And what was being done at a mediocre level now becomes a pursuit of excellence. Why?!? Maybe simple because now they know someone believes in them and has confidence that they can achieve something great. As humans we all need affirmation. I know personally I want to be close to those who encourage me, who see potential inside of me, who notice what I am doing. I think about how it is with God too, how when we begin to praise Him and begin to acknowledge His working in our lives, He draws close. What about David, by no means was a perfect man but the Bible does tell us that he was a man after God’s heart. And I watch how David bragged on God. Many times before a battle, David would be declaring his victory before the battle even began because he knew his God and had confidence in Him. And notice what happened when David bragged on his God…..God showed up and showed favor and victory to his son. That tells me something about God, His faithfulness, and when you begin to brag on Him he will show up in your life and prove Himself faithful. Perhaps that’s one of the keys to intimacy: Praise!

You ever think that maybe God gets tired of hearing the same old stuff. Almost like our praise to Him has become routine and we praise Him out of what we have been taught by others….words, phases, expressions, exaltations. When you love someone and want to pursue them and have a relationship with them, don’t you think you would be more genuine? That your words and admirations would come from your heart? And not just from what you’ve heard people around you say. I feel sorry for my husband one day because I am the type of person who doesn’t like cliché remarks, or things out of a book or off of TV. I like original, heart felt, just between you and me, no one else kind of stuff. haha J And I wonder if God feels the same way? There’s an intimacy that comes when you are genuinely admiring and exalting the one you love. I want my walk with God to be real. Not something “showy” or “put on” I want to love and admire Him in a special way, not just how I see everyone around me doing. He deserves more than a copy cat. Perhaps that’s another key to intimacy: Genuine admiration.

Where is our pursuit and hunger? Sometimes I try to check myself and my hunger level for God, am I more hungry for God than oxygen, than food, than ministry, than a mate, than possessions?!? Not saying that any of those things are wrong, obviously you need oxygen to survive…lol J But I wonder sometimes are we desperate for Him or are we distracted by things? And what are the things that keep me from pursue Him with all that we have? Distraction is a sneaky thing, it slowly comes in and steals our focus. Broken focus is the number one reason that we fail. I think that what we look at the longest becomes strongest in our lives. What has the ability to master our attention has mastered our lives. We can’t allow anything to steal our focus off Jesus. That is why we must be in passionate pursuit of Him. Only passionate people fulfill their mission. The force of our personal passion will provide us the power to break through any obstacle that will hold us back and hinder us from obtaining what we’re striving for. That’s why passionate people win in life and passive people never get what God intended for them. When I think of a passionate person who was in pursuit of something, I think of the woman who anointed Jesus’ feet with that expensive oil. Now there is someone who was desperate and willing to give everything, at the cost of looking foolish in front of other in order to touch Jesus. Maybe another key to intimacy is: Foolish and passionate pursuit.

Ok, that’s all for now.

Keep running towards Him and never stop running

Inventor of the Omelet!

A creator is the one who defines it’s creation. I tried to make an omelet the other day, lol, let me just say that I was less than successful. J But if I was the creator, the inventor of the omelet then whatever I made no matter how it looked if I deemed it to be an omelet then that’s what it’d because I’d be the inventor. God is my creator, the inventor of all that I am and all the dwells within me. My identity is found in who my creator says that I am. And my purpose is found in what He has designed this invention of my life to be. To walk away from that, to take my eyes and my focus off of that is to surrender my abilities, life and purpose of creation to another. Throughout my life at different moments there have been many things I have rendered, and even forfeited. You see if I render my identity there is and has been one so willing and quick to adopt me, and that is the enemy of my soul. He is so willing to take me in and take my focus off of WHO and WHAT I was created to walk in, created to be. When I see myself in light of satan’s destructive view, my value and confidence diminishes and I believe that is his purpose. I want each day to remind myself and the devil that I was created to be WHOLE, not BROKEN. To choose LOVE, not ANGER. To be BOLD, not INTIMADATED. To embrace UNITY, not SEPARATION. To walk in PURITY, not LUST. To live a life of FAITH, not FEAR. These are things that God has GIVEN….GIVEN…..GIVEN to me and to allow anything or anyone to steal them or distort them is self distruction . I am ready to reclaim all that was given and created for me to walk in. I will be victorious, because God has created in this heart of mine a champion with a burning desire to win and a distaste and unsatisfied restlessness to allow anyone to take what was GIVEN to me. MADE for me. DESIGNED for me.

I'm secure enough....

I’m secure enough to not need to know everything.

I’m secure enough to not always speak, but instead listen.

I’m secure enough to praise others who know more then me.

I’m secure enough that I don’t need to compete.

I’m secure enough that I don’t need to stab you in the back.

I’m secure enough to know I’m doing a good job.

I’m secure enough to admit when I’m wrong.

I’m secure enough that I don’t need to point fingers.

I’m secure enough that I don’t need to possess others.

I’m secure enough that I don’t need to be in control.

I’m secure enough to follow as well as lead.

I’m secure enough that I see the value of others.

I’m secure enough to admit my own insecurities.

I’m secure enough to cry.

I’m secure enough to say “I love you.”

I’m secure enough to say “I need your help.”

I’m secure enough to know I’m OK.

Healer

Well lately I have spent alot of time driving and riding in the car. Wanted to share something God was reminding me of and speaking to me about yesterday on the ride to Ixmi. Hopefully it will be an encouragement to those of you who are broken, or need to be reminded that His plans for you are perfect.

I was remembering when I was young, probably about 5 or 6 and my cousins use to always take me for rides on their motorcycles. One day we were riding around our neighbors yard and we went to make a turn while going around this tree. I guess we got to close cause I fell off and my face went straight into the tree, we were going pretty fast, so you can image the impact. My parents took me to the hospital, I had bark from the tree struck in my face. It was only my forehead and the whole left side. My parents thought for sure I was going to grow up with scares all over the left side of my face or that someday I would need surgury. But amazingly there is not a single scare on my face!! This is what the Lord was speaking to me as He reminded me of that experience.

¨Everytime you see a reflection of yourself in a mirror. Notice there are no scares on your face, not one! And know that if I can take the outta layer of your skin that was scared and RESTORE it to perfect wholeness then Tracey you must know that I can do the same with your heart. No matter what scares or brokeness has been involved I can take it an bring restoration to the fullest!¨ WOW! what amazing love God has for us! Someone who is a powerful influence in my life once said ¨When God restores something it´s better than it was beforë.¨ AMEN!!! Haggai 2:9 ¨The glory of this present house will be greater than the glory of the former house, says the Lord Almighty. And in this place I will grant peace, declares the Lord Almighty.¨ Let it be so in my life God and in the lives of all those who need restoration!

Facts vs. Feelings

"Hang onto the facts until the feelings line up." Probably the most true and needed words I've heard today. And honestly, the underlining word I hear in that phrase is FAITH.

The facts are:

"you need not be afraid of disaster....for the Lord is your security." (Prov. 3:25)

"all your needs will be provided for....." (Phil. 4:13)

"you will find favor with God and people...." (Prov. 3:3)

"I will show you and teach you in the way you should go...." (Psalms 32:8)

"My help comes from the Lord...." (Psalms 101:1)

"My flesh can REST in HOPE....." (Psalms 16:9)

The truth is that the facts far outweigh the feelings. The challenge is to focus on the facts, and not the feelings. I suppose that faith is focusing on what you know is true and not what you see or feel.

Daily I have questions, fears, and at times anxiety race and dance across my mind. Yet, under it all is this peace that I don't have words to explain. Except to say that it is constant...it doesn't leave. We've had about 6 of our friends make the statement to us..."I don't think I could do what you are doing..." I experience two different emotions when I hear those words. The first is sheer panic! If you couldn't do it, then neither can I....my world is crashing in! (thankfully this emotion only last a second or two) But what really comes over me is this sense of being close to the heart of Jesus. I think of His life and remarks that people made towards Him or about the life He was living. It didn't always make sense in peoples natural minds. Neither does this season my husband and I find ourselves in now. People questioned wether He was really doing the right thing, even though He was walking in what His Father showed Him. We find ourselves in that same spot lately. What is going on in our lives doesn't make sense to those on the outside looking on, yet, as of this moment we haven't taken any steps unless we have clearly heard from Him. Phrases like, "it doesn't make sense" and "I could do what you are doing" are starting to become very comforting as they remind me that I am exactly where He has called me. So many ministry opportunities and God encounters with others (those who do and don't know Jesus) have happened over the last couple months. We haven't been searching them out or frantically trying to find solutions....but in simply everyday living for Him we find chances to influence those around us. I wish I didn't go in and out of trusting Him so often. I know it's a process....but when the facts say that He never has and He never will fail me, leave me, forget me....then why do I waver? Focus on the facts until your feelings line up with it.

I'll close with these words, ones that are a lot easier to say than to actually live out on a daily basis.....

Prov. 3:5 "Trust in the Lord with all your heart; do not depend on your own understanding."

Discipline and Determination

Prov. 10:17 – Solomon wrote this passage and history, not just “christian” history but human history notes this man as the “wisest man that ever lived” because of the truth he wrote.

Prov. 15:32 – it’s an “if” and “then” ….what is the “if” and “then” here?

We so often view discipline as a negative thing….something to run from or avoid when God has made it to benefit us!

1 Cor. 9:24-27 – one of my favorite verses of all time!!!!!

I love this one definition of discipline I found, it goes like this….”doing what I don’t want to do now so that I can enjoy the results later.” Discipline doesn’t always feel good. Sometimes we have to discipline ourselves in the moment so that later on we can enjoy the results. Same thing with exercise…it doesn’t “feel” good when I’m doing it and in the exact moment I’m working out I’m not seeing my body transform into this “supermodel” shape….lol, nah, but discipline comes first, results follow after.

Don’t just study to pass that test, or quickly read your bible just to get done, you can have discipline and not be committed to it and not focused on it and see NO RESULTS….here’s an example…me falling off treadmill at gym….i was doing something that was good for me, for my body, a discipline but I wasn’t committed to it I was falling asleep and it wasn’t benefiting me at all. You MUST have a goal in mind in order to win!!! You’ve got to be focused and committed to it.

What I love about the Olympics is not so much seeing who wins and what award, but for me it’s more the stories of the lives of the people there. I love it when the commentators give there background and their history of where they’ve come from and how they have reaching this point. And one common denominator that I see in every story is that they are COMMITTED to disciple. Now there is a difference between being committed to disciple and committed to winning. If you’re not disciplined than you don’t have much of a chance of winning but on the flip side if you are disciplined then your one step closer to winning, one step closer to victory!

I’ve never paid to much attention to what the Olympic Creed was, what there “motto” or heart behind the whole thing stood for…..but it’s this, and this is amazing….it’s so inspiring to me!!!!!

The Olympic Creed: The most important thing in the Olympic game is not to win but to take part, just as the most important thing in life is not to triumph but to struggle. The essential thing is not to have conquered but to have fought well!

This is what the athletics are suppose to be living out. It’s not about the winning but more about the discipline that they learned along the way.

I wanna tell you this story about this woman named Zoey, she is from NY, she lives there with her husband and two dogs. She is such a joyful person, you know one of those people you just love to be around, to be close to. Zoey loves life, and she also loves marathons (which are REALLY long races) this past year Zoey completed her 20^th marathon. And Zoey just turned 60 this year. But the fact that Zoey has ran 20 NY marathons and is now 60 aren’t really the most special things about her, the most unique thing about her is that every time she has come in last place. And when she has crossed the finish line she’s done it with crutches on her arms and braces on her back and her knees because when she was 24 years old she was diagnosed with MS and Diabetes at the same time and in that moment she decided that those disease were not going to rule her. She was gonna go through life with determination and discipline and be one of the most inspiring people. This lady just wrote a book called “The Winners Spirit” every time her foot hits the pavement, it’s a reminder of life to her and that if she keeps on going and keeps making the next RIGHT step and being committed and discipline to what she started….she’ll be a champion.

My favorite worship leader made this statement that I love: With human beings the end is the goal, but with God the process is the end! –Jason Upton

Hebrews 12:5-6 God disciplines those He’s loves.

God looks at our lives and He can see far beyond…….if only you knew what I was forming and shaping you to be…

Caught between the waves and the shore.....

(Not exactly sure what this is...I just started writing tonight at the end of service with the worship playing...perhaps there are some words to a song, perhaps a poem, or maybe its just my heart crying out...anyways, it just kinda poured out of me....so I simply kept writing.) Caught between the waves and the shore:
Hurling waves knock me down. My flesh craves to let them wash me out to sea. They never stop--they let up a little but are always there. The fear of what could happen to me if I try to brave against them once more pulls me further out to sea. Further from seeing you, with a loving arm coming from the shore reaching out to me. I have to reach you, if it takes my very last breathe. If these waves knock me once more, I will not turn and face the raging waters believing they are my end. I see Your hand, I will reach You...a little closer now, here I come. The waves can't eternally hold me back, my hand was made to walk in Yours. No wave can wash away Your promise from me. Waves behind me, Your eyes in front of me. Here I come out of these waters.

"Call me crazy"

Tonight I went out with my sister to ride her horse. (Something I rarely do…but desire to do more often…and I’ll explain why J ) While we were there this man showed up, nothing odd, some of his horses stay at the same place. I can’t remember his name although I do, and will for a long time remember what he said to me. It started with a series of simple questions about everyday life and then he asked me “Do you know how to ride? Do you like to ride” My response was something like this: “I have rode a couple times before and I like it but I’m normally a little afraid” “Oh I see” he said, “is it because you don’t feel like you have control over what’s gonna happen while your on the horse and you don’t know how he’ll respond to you” I laughed and said “EXACTLY!” And then he made this statement that up until now has been echoing in my mind. “Once that fear leaves the freedom comes and you’ll enjoy the ride!” (This guy wasn’t trying to be spiritual or anything, actually….he doesn’t even know God…yet! J) But ever since he spoke that my mind has been racing with all kinds of things. I began to think about all the areas in my life where I allow fear to creep in sometimes. I began thinking about how incredible it feels when I overcome a fear or do something that in the eyes for some would be considered “crazy”. I think the reason it makes me feel so “alive” inside is because I was created to be fearless and…can I say it….maybe even crazy. J

So then I began to reflect back on the lives of those who hold my admirations. People like Noah who built an ark in the middle of the desert, or the Israelites who walked around a wall blowing trumpets, David who went up against a HUGE giant, Sarah who at ninty years of age was looking for maternity clothes (lol, image that one in modern day life.) or Peter who stepped out of a boat to walk on water. The results of their lives speak for themselves; Noah and his family were saved from the flood, the walls of Jericho came down, David defeated Goliath, Sarah gave birth to Issac, and Peter walked on water!

These men and women saw God move in great ways! And I believe it’s because they were more concerned with what God spoke to them then what the voices around them were saying. They were willing to face fears of the unknown. They were able to take hold of their fear instead of having their fear take hold of them! How I want to be like them! I have some pretty cool stories from throughout my life….moments when I lived, believed, and walked fearlessly but it’s not enough….I want it in EVERY area of my life. J

1 Corinthians 1:27 says “God deliberately chose things the world considers foolish in order to shame those who think they are wise.” So why not look foolish in the eyes of this world once in awhile. Why not walk in freedom to be who He’s created you to be…the freedom to walk in and have what He has promised you.

What if the quote left on my gravestone when I leave this world and join my King was something like..…. “Call me crazy” J

Alternate Endings

Lately my husband has got me hooked on Marvel Comic movies, my favorite being X-men!!! I can't wait for the next one to be released! It was interesting as we finished the movie and began looking at all the options the DVD had, such as alternate endings. Who would of thought, that one day they'd write movies where you'd have your choice of endings. If you didn't like the original, just check out the alternate ending.

Today as I began to think about that concept, it has actually been around for a long time. It takes place in our lives daily. The enemy of our souls fights for an alternate ending that our Master Creator never intended.
I know that in our daily encounters with people God has a purpose and agenda He wants us as His children to fulfill. How many times does it play out the way God intended, and how many times does the enemy influence us into an alternate ending? Sometimes I wish we could stand back and see things from God's perspective. I don't believe that we live purpose less, mundane, or coincidental lives. With every incident there is a battle going on for the final outcome. Not just in the big things, but even in the small areas I believe we make choices of what the ending of that day or that occurrence will be. The enemy has alternate ending for our work days, our worship services, our interactions with our spouse, our friends, and those who don't know Him.
Perhaps we even opt out ourselves, and choice alternate ending because it's an easier or less painful route to take. I know I have been guilty of this, even guilty of selfish living where I've chosen what's best for me and not what is right. I think about the life of Jesus and how He knew the heart and will of His father. The (earthly) ending didn't look glamorous by any means yet He was obedient. I'm so thankful for His obedience, it has changed my life! I know that the Bible tells us our life is a vapor (James 4:14 ) and I'm convinced of that. I long to live a life with no reserves, no retreat, and no regrets. I'm tired of living a life where I settle for alternate endings because I take hold of the enemy's trap. I'll admit it's cool to have your choice of ending when watching a flick, but when it comes to life I only want to live out the ending my God created me to! Next time we're in the midst of a battle let's make it intentional choice to walk out His ending!
Ephesians 6:10-12

A Mighty Army

For the past two weeks many times when I am praying I have seen soldier like people, in uniform marching and coming together. But in the midst of this training I see some fading out as well. God keeps saying...¨I am preparing my army for a great revival.¨ My heart races each time this happens! I want to be a part of it and I don’t want to be amongst those who are fading out and not willing to make the sacrifice.

God is training a mighty army who are not afraid of the enemy. They are bold in their words, firm in their foundation, and they are warriors at heart. This unique force is like no other; their methods are different, but effective. Unlike the armies of this world, these soldiers cling to the Word of God, and they know that the war is won before they step out onto the battlefield. They recognize that battles are always won in the SPIRIT before they are won in the NATURAL. Every action that is made results in victory. Quitting is not an option and fear has no control. They are the force to be called upon in times are spiritual warfare, a troop that does not know the meaning of the word defeat. Will they back down? Not a chance! Will they give up? NEVER! The kingdom of God suffers violence, and the violent take it by force. These warriors have made a CHOICE, they don’t make excuses, they make a DIFFERENCE!

-The battle between David and Goliath wasn’t won by a stone but it was won because of a covenant! David was confident in the Lord his God when he said ¨I know who fights my battles for me¨ I want that same heart! The heart of a CHAMPION!